Work Hard.. Play Harder... Party Hardest!!!

On Vacation

2007-01-26T03:04:00.000+08:00

since i haven't been feeling the itch in blogging because of some known and unknown reasons which ill leave all to you to guess,,
i've decided to let everyone who checks out my blog to know that i'll be placing it on vacation mode for the moment..

this is it for now..

will be back soon.... i hope..

Sa Bubungan

2007-01-12T14:01:00.000+08:00

Feeling a bit lonely today, so I decided to pack my laptop and go somewhere where I can feel the loneliness. I was looking for a place where it would be quiet, a place where I can just enjoy myself alone. So I decided to stay in our house’s roof. Yeah, as in “bubungan”. It may sound funny but I felt that that’s the best place to stay.

So there I did go with my laptop plus a bottle of beer, 10 sticks of cigarette and a bottle of OFF lotion (to keep the mosquito away).

I sat there for as long as I felt I was still ok. I gazed up in the sky and saw the stars twinkling. I noticed that its full moon. It got me a bit scared cause its passed midnight sand I know these stories about creatures lurking around when it’s full moon. Even though, I still stayed there.

I felt some sort of bliss while I was sitting on the roof of our house. It was tranquil and peaceful. Of course, I didn’t see anybody there but I feel that someone might have seen me just sitting there and doing my own stuff of emotional drama. I didn’t cry though, but as I was sitting all alone with the music of Nina and Kyla playing on my laptop, I felt a surge of mixed emotions which I guess have triggered memories of my past to starting rushing in my mind.

After that moment on the roof, I realized that there is nothing wrong with really being alone sometimes. It gives us time to think. It gives you time to reflect on things you don’t get to think about when you’re doing a lot of things. The feeling is very peaceful. And after that night, I finally experienced it and have realized it…. that the only way that you can say that you’re really happy is when with just with by yourself alone, you are happy. I use to not believe that but now I do.

Fore sure that wont be the first time that I’ll be doing that… staying at our roof and just feel the wind blow and watch the stars twinkle while having ambient or sentimental music on the background.

My Soon To Be New Baby...... I Hope (Hehe!)

2007-01-12T09:26:00.000+08:00

Introducing the new
2007 Honda CR-V

Marco: Dad!!! you don't have a gift for me yet, maybe you can consider this one...

Dad: (yeah right! dream on Marco!!!)

Geeezzzz!!!

2007-01-11T19:01:00.000+08:00

sorry if i haven't been posting anything yet... i've been very busy ever since the year started that's why... right now, it's my computer class in school that's why i was able to log on since its a free time for us to browse through the internet..

i do have entries made on my laptap already but am yet to post them... maybe over the weekend ill be able to do that... that is if i have time...

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! am uber busy! but am liking it! (hehehe!)

Last Term For The School Year

2007-01-08T13:51:00.000+08:00

So it has started, the last term for the year, the last term before I enjoy summer break once again. I was on break for two weeks and it felt so fast. I am not complaining though cause I like it more if I there are classes. Its not because of the allowance… well, it may be a part but it’s not really why I like it more when there are classes. I think, I just enjoy it more when I’m doing something…when I’m busy with stuff to do. I don’t really like being idle cause when I do, it makes me think of stuff which I try to really not think about. You see, when I am idle and when my mind starts thinking of stuff, I start to crash… emotionally crash, and I hate it when that happens. These are stuff emotional people go through a lot, I guess. I am not really sure of that but I know I am emotional and I am going through it.

So as I have said earlier, my first day for the last term for the school year has started and I was excited to go to school again after the two week break. I don’t know how to describe it but I was full of excitement to attend my first class.

I am sure that these, more or less… four months, would be full of school stuff but I am not fretting, I know its part of being a stud. What I am fore see right now is the summer break. What’s in store when it is school break once again? Where I’ll be hopping? How I will spend the summer vacation? Just thinking about it makes me feel that all hard work that I’ll be exerting would be worth it. I can’t wait for it. I can’t wait for Boracay!

My New Baby... Thanks Mom!

2007-01-03T15:08:00.000+08:00

Thanks Mom!!!

Cheers!!!

2007-01-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

I'm Super Excited!

2006-12-29T16:52:00.000+08:00

Tonight is the night when I unleash the partee boy in me! Wahahahaha!
It's Benny Bennasi tonight and I'm uber excited!!!

I just got home from the gym. Ofcourse, I want my muscles looking mad tonight. I'll make sure i'll look my best. The event is "the event"! Everybody will be there and i don't want them seeing me like nothing has changed. Hahahaha!!!

I'm really feeling soo much excitement right now. I already know what to wear. I just can't wait for the clock to tick at 7pm so I could start getting ready.

An hour bath would do, then an hour to dress up and then maybe another hour for other stuff. Hahahaha!!! Gawd! This is really it!!!

PARTEEEEE TIME!!!

Coins.. And Lost of It

2006-12-28T17:01:00.000+08:00

i opened up my coin bank lastnight... counted how much everything was and taped them together so that when i go to the bank to have it deposited to my account, it'll be easier..

guess how much i have?!?!?? hehehehe!!!

the saying is right...

"Di mabubuo ang isang libo kung wala bente-singko"

Tuyo Trip

2006-12-27T16:43:00.000+08:00

the whole family left and went to the MALL OF ASIA to stroll... i was just too tired or let say was too lazy to go with them.. besides, nobody will be left at home so i stayed...

i love it cause i pigged out the whole day... funny because around 4pm, i ate everything that was left for me to eat... and i was craving for something different..

guess what i did??? i cooked!! i cooked TUYO!!! hahaha! yumyumyum!!!
it's been awhile since i last ate tuyo and its my first time to cook and prepare it myself.. hahaha! it was a laughtrip for me cause the kitchen was all smoky.. but it was fun, and i actually love and ate it all!!!

yummmy!!!

Awareness: Lung Cancer

2006-12-27T11:07:00.000+08:00

its a bit untimely for me to post something about an illness this season but i cant keep myself from doing so because sadly to say, just this year two people i know died because of these desease.. and just only last night, i found out that a family friend is diagnosed with the same illness... please let us all pray for them....

Lung Cancer

Lung cancers are cancers that begin in the lungs. Other types of cancers may spread to the lungs from other organs. However, these are not lung cancers because they did not start in the lungs. When cancer cells spread from one organ to another, they are called metastases.

Research has found several risk factors for lung cancer. A "risk factor" is anything that changes risk of getting a disease. Different risk factors change risk by different amounts.

The risk factors for lung cancer include:

smoking and being around others' smoke
things around us at home or work (such as radon gas)
personal traits (such as having a family history of lung cancer)

Symptoms

Different people have different symptoms for lung cancer. Some people don't have any symptoms at all. About 25% of people with lung cancer do not have symptoms from advanced cancer when their lung cancer is found. Lung cancer symptoms may include:

shortness of breath
coughing that doesn't go away
wheezing
coughing up blood
chest pain
fever
weight loss

Other changes that can sometimes occur with lung cancer may include repeated bouts of pneumonia, changes in the shape of the fingertips, and swollen or enlarged lymph nodes (glands) in the upper chest and lower neck.

These symptoms can happen with other illnesses, too. People with symptoms should talk to their doctor, especially if they smoke, but even if they don't. Doctors can help find the cause.

Diagnosis and Treatment

A person’s lung cancer diagnosis depends on the type of lung cancer present. The two main types of lung cancer are small cell lung cancer and non-small cell lung cancer. Non-small cell lung cancer is more common than small cell lung cancer. These categories refer to what the cancer cells look like under a microscope.

The extent of disease is referred to as the stage. Information about how big a cancer is or how far it has spread is often used to determine the stage. Doctors use information about stage to plan treatment and to monitor progress.

For more information about stages of lung cancer, visit the National Cancer Institute (NCI) Physician Data Query (PDQ) sites on Stages of Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer and Stages of Small Cell Lung Cancer.

There are several ways to treat lung cancer. The treatment depends on the type of lung cancer and how far it has spread. Treatments include surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. People with lung cancer often get more than one kind of treatment. (Visit the NCI PDQ for more information about treatments for Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer and Small Cell Lung Cancer. This site also has a directory of healthcare providers involved in cancer care.

Surgery
Doctors cut out and remove cancer tissue in an operation.

Chemotherapy
Chemotherapy involves the use of drugs to shrink or kill the cancer. The drugs could be pills or medicines given through an IV (intravenous) tube. Sometimes chemotherapy includes both IV drugs and pills.

Radiation
Radiation uses high-energy rays (similar to x-rays) to try to kill the cancer cells. The rays are aimed at the part of the body where the cancer is.

These treatments may be provided by different doctors on your medical team. Pulmonologists are doctors that are experts in diseases of the lungs. Surgeons are doctors that perform operations. Medical oncologists are doctors that are experts in cancer and treat cancers with medicines. Radiation oncologists are doctors that treat cancers with radiation.

Clinical Trials
People with lung cancer may want to take part in a clinical trial. Clinical trials study new potential treatment options. Visit the NCI, National Institutes of Health (NIH), and American Cancer Society (ACS) sites listed below for more information about finding clinical trials.

Risk Factors

Research has found several risk factors for lung cancer. A "risk factor" is anything that changes risk of getting a disease. Different risk factors change risk by different amounts.

The risk factors for lung cancer include:

smoking and being around others' smoke
things around us at home or work (such as radon gas)
personal traits (such as having a family history of lung cancer)

Smoking and Secondhand Smoke
Cigarette smoking causes lung cancer. In fact, smoking tobacco is the major risk factor for lung cancer. In the United States, about 90% of lung cancer deaths in men and almost 80% of lung cancer deaths in women are due to smoking. People who smoke are 10 to 20 times more likely to get lung cancer or die from lung cancer than people who do not smoke. The longer a person smokes and the more cigarettes smoked each day the more risk goes up.

People who quit smoking have a lower risk of lung cancer than if they had continued to smoke, but their risk is higher than people who never smoked. As more people quit smoking, lung cancer rates will continue to fall, the percentage of lung cancers that occur in smokers will decrease, and the percentage of lung cancers that occur in people who have quit will rise.

Smoking also causes cancer of the voicebox (larynx,) mouth and throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney, pancreas, cervix, and stomach. More information about cigarette smoking and lung cancer is available in the CDC's Tobacco Information and Prevention Source (TIPS) Fact Sheets, the Surgeon General's Report 2004 Fact Sheets, and the NCI Cigarette Smoking and Cancer Questions and Answers.

Using cigars or pipes also increases risk for lung cancer, but not as much as smoking cigarettes. For more information, visit the NCI Questions and Answers About Cigar Smoking and Cancer.

Smoke from other people's cigarettes ("secondhand" smoke) causes lung cancer as well. There are more than 4,000 chemicals in secondhand smoke. More than 50 of these chemicals cause cancer in people or animals. Every year, about 3,000 nonsmokers die from lung cancer due to secondhand smoke.

For more information about secondhand smoke, visit the TIPS fact sheet Secondhand Smoke.

Things That May Cause Cancer at Home and Work
There may be several things that can cause cancer (carcinogens) in the workplace or even in the home. For example, radon gas causes lung cancer and is sometimes found in people's homes. Radon is an odorless, colorless gas that comes from rocks and dirt and can get trapped in houses and buildings. Examples of substances found at some workplaces that increase risk include asbestos, arsenic, and some forms of silica and chromium. For many of these substances, risk of getting lung cancer is even higher for those who also smoke. Other substances may increase lung cancer risk as well.

Family History
Risk of lung cancer may be higher if a person's parents, siblings (brother or sister), or children have had lung cancer. This increased risk could come from one or more things. They may share behaviors, like smoking. They may live in the same place where there are carcinogens such as radon. They may have inherited increased risk in their genes.

Diet
Scientists are studying many different foods to see how they may change the risk of getting lung cancer. However any effect diet may have on lung cancer risk is small compared with the risk from smoking. Eating a lot of fat and cholesterol might increase risk of lung cancer. Drinking a lot of alcohol may raise risk as well. However it's hard to tell how much of the risk in people who drink is actually due to tobacco smoke, since many people both smoke and drink.

Some foods may actually help prevent lung cancer. Diets high in fruits and vegetables likely decrease cancer risk. Diets high in vitamin C, vitamin E, or selenium might also help protect against lung cancer. The effect of eating foods with carotenoids, like beta-carotene, on lung cancer risk is currently uncertain. Carotenoids can be found in carrots, sweet potatoes, and some green vegetables. Eating these foods may lower chances of lung cancer. Taking beta-carotene supplements (pills) is not recommended however, since it may actually increase risk in some smokers.

for more information.. visit: http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/lung/index.htm

How Was My Christmas

2006-12-26T18:07:00.000+08:00

as expected... it was the same as the previous christmas i had in the past.. it was like just some ordinary day... so ordinary that nobody in the house even greeted each other.. i guess everybody in the house has gone use to this..

around 11pm of the 24th, since i know that there wont be any noche buena celebration happening (although me and my mom prepared food just incase somebody wanted to eat), i decided to lock myself up my room. its the same thing i did before. i lock myself up in my room with a bottle of wine, some cigars, 2 pills of v's and my ipod... i tried to just reminisce and think of happy thoughts, hoping that somehow the emotion that's slowly making my tears fall would be supressed... while sipping wine, i was composing personal messages to people who are on my contacts on my phone... i made sure that each message is personalized to give a personal touch to it... i just hoped that everybody got my sms and that they realized that it was a personal text, not some custom mades..

as i send all of the messages i compose, i was already getting tipsy. the wine has already started hitting my head. it felt good. i felt like the alcohol was drowning my emotions away. i felt my tears drawing back to my tear glands....

but as soon as i felt myself and realized that i was happily drunk on my own and in my own room.. my phone started beeping like crazy.. most people whom i texted started replying with all these christmas wishes and greeting and as i read each message, i realized that i was fooling myself with what i was doing....

then.. it started drilling me.. slowly, like a snake crawling... my tears stars falling from eyes...
i was not at all happy with how i was celebrating christmas... i was all alone... i was drunk.. i felt so devastated.. i didnt know what to do...

i tried to compose myself and stop myself from thinking because i know there's no use in crying when these events had happened in the past... i told myself "i should've gone used to celebrating christmas like these"... but there's something in the messages that is telling me that everything is wrong...

i know it is, but what can i do if we do not celebrate christmas at all.. i told myself i am used to it.. but why was i crying that night..

i tried so hard to keep myself composed for i was afraid that people at home who were asleep might wake up and hear my crying the hell out of me... i didnt know what to do...

i went down to our sala and decided to phone one special person.. i didnt think it was the best thing to do because i might be ruining his happy christmas celebrating... but still i did call him..
i bursted out.. i was crying so hard.. he made me let it all out and i am so thankful that he listened to me...

when i was already calmed down.. i realized once more that i might be distracting him from spending time with his family so i decided to put the phone right after i thanked him for listening to me..

i felt so alone on christmas eve.. but what the heck.. its been like that for years.. we don't even have a christmas tree at home not even a single christmas light... maybe soon we'll get to celebrate it again, when as a family we're happy again.. when that time will come? i don't know.. but i sure know what will make us start celebrating christmas again.....when we can be happy as a family agaian...

....but i guess for now, let it be like these. anyway, its just one day of the year....
Merry Christmas to everybody!

do not pity me... because though I am experiencing stuff like these, they are making me stronger and better as a person.. and i guess thats a great christmas gift... am i right!?

again... Maligayang Pasko to everybody!!!

It Struck Me All Of A Sudden

2006-12-24T18:21:00.000+08:00

just before we ended our after saturday night house party.. i felt something different slowly creeping inside me. i tried to assess and i realized that i'm feeling the christmas spirit slowly getting in.

ive been blabbing about not feeling christmas at all this year but it seems that all of a sudden, all at once like one big pile of trash thrown into my face... i suddenly felt that.. "Yeah! It's Christmas!"

though i know that my christmas will be nothing different from what i had before because we dont really celebrate it.. it is still ok. am used to it already...

so now since i feel it already...

merry christmas everybody!

Its Officially My School Break

2006-12-22T21:18:00.000+08:00

Woooaaah!!!

Got my class cards! Nothing due anymore in school... YES!!!
I am officially on with my school break!!!

TIME TO PARTEEE HARD!!!

I Was Saved

2006-12-22T06:11:00.000+08:00

i was crashing the whole so i texted away all my friends for something to do... i was up for anything..... coffee, movie, gimik, parties, overnights.. anything. i just wanted to keep myself from crashing today.

good thing, my friends decided to meet up at greenbelt. it was great. we ate at national sports grill and has lots of fun talking about different stuffs such as "which is better, blue cheese or cream cheese"? hahahaha! its super fun and its been awhile since i last had a nice dinner with my highschool friends.

after that, i went home. i wasn't feeling sleepy yet though so when my friend dropped me off near my place, i decided to buy a bottle of beer just for "pampaantok".
well, it did not work, add to that, i took a valium with the beer. hahaha!

as soon as i finished my bottle of red horse, i got a text from my friend asking me where i am. i told him i was home, drunk and crashing. without any pause, he invited me to go out and party. no hesitation whatsover, i quickly dressed up and went out to meet him in makati.

we went to these club popped some and it was great. it was already 3am in the morning so we didnt really last long in the club. around 5, i went home already since i have a thing to do in school around lunch time...

so these what happened a few hours ago...
ill take a nap now..
hehehehe!!!

Crashing

2006-12-21T14:26:00.000+08:00

I HATE IT WHEN AM EMOTIONALLY CRASHING!!!
CRAP!!!
THIS IS SO PATHETIC!!!

My Sleep

2006-12-21T11:40:00.000+08:00

i just woke up and i don't feel good. not because i slept only for 7 hours but because i didn't rest well. it was an awful sleep. i felt like having a bad dream the whole time my eyes were close... oh! it was not that i just feel like i was having a bad dream... "I WAS REALLY HAVING A BAD DREAM!". it was not exactly a nightmare. it didn't involve monsters of any sort but it got me so scared that i woke up crying.

i was freaking' dreaming of a part of my past!!! and i so fucking hate it. i do not like it at all because it just causes me pain. it makes me remember all the hurt that was inflicted on me. and now that i have slowly started moving and actually started enjoying life once again, i don't those kind of dreams anymore. i hate it. let it disappear to the abyss.

i learned during my psychology class that dreams come from the unconscious part of our mind and usually, these are motives and desired that we try to supress. i am trying to analyze the dream i had and i guess, its partly true. what i dreamt of maybe... is still a desire which i am still trying to repress and eventually forget.

i dont wanna cry no more whenever i remember these dreams or memories or anything that has to do with that event in my past. i just want to move on and forget about it all. i just want to be happy. its unfair for me because i am suffering when i was the one who gave more. shit! i am starting to feel emotional about this things again. i hate it! damnit!

i have started to move on and i am enjoying life in a different way. i don't need anything of these shit anymore.

ghost of the past, set me free. i am letting go of you. so let go of my hand. cause once you do, and once i let go as well of your cold hands which makes me remember the bitter past... my hands will cling and hold to someone else... somebody warm and somebody who will never let me go...

Someday - Nina

Merry Christmas

2006-12-21T03:18:00.000+08:00

four days to go and its christmas day. i can't believe its that near already. maybe because i couldn't feel the christmas spirit at all. yeah, i do feel the cold breeze and i see those lights all over the metro, but it seems to me that christmas aint something i look forward to anymore, not like when i was a child.

don't get me wrong. am not feeling sad at all and i am not ranting about not liking christmas also. i do love christmas. its the most wonderful day of the year. and i am not sad. to tell you honestly, these past few months had been very very awesome. i've been meeting alot of people both from school and outside school. my social circle is getting bigger and bigger each party or night out that i go to with my new friends and it's been really great. its far different from how i used to enjoy the night life but its fantanstic... so, there's no way that i am telling you this (that i don't feel the christmas spirit) because i am sad and not happy with whats happening in my life, cause i am happy... very much happy.

i honestly don't know why i am feeling like this. i mean, everyone's soo busy doing & talking about christmas related stuff but me, am like... "ok! tell me when you're done. i'll take a nap!". geeez! am i being abnormal or what.

i don't think there's nothing wrong with feeling like these. i guess some people do not feel the christmas rush at all. maybe i am just over reacting at it because i am not like this before. i honestly don't know.

but whatever it is that makes me feel like its not christmas at all... nonetheless...
let me greet everyone a...

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

My Christmas Wish List

2006-12-21T02:16:00.000+08:00

I made this slideshow at MyFlashFetish.com.
Check out these MySpace Slideshows!

Here's the list...
1. Apple MacBook
2. World Peace
3. A New Love
4. True Star for Men by Tommy Hilfiger
5. Oakley Polarized Men's Dartboard
6. Oakley Square Wire
7. Nike Free Trainer 5.0
8. Tenorio Shoes
9. Motorola MOTOKRZR K1
10. Canon IXUS Camera

Grade Equivalent

2006-12-21T00:40:00.000+08:00

pardon me, but i just have to post this...

not many of my school mates know the equivalent point grades when it comes to our grading system. So for my fellow Benildeans here it is.

0 - 69 = 0 (Failed/Repeat)
70 - 74 = 1
75 - 79 = 1.5
80 - 84 = 2
85 - 88 = 2.5
89 - 92 = 3
93 - 96 = 3.5
97 - 100 = 4

**Remember guys that our cut-off is not 50% nor 60%... it's 70%, ok!?

Can You Feel It

2006-12-20T16:56:00.000+08:00

Damn! I'm super feeling the vibe! Arrggg!!! And I Can't help but post these stuff. Please bear with me.

DATE : December 29, 2006 (Friday)
VENUE : PICC Forum
TIME : 10:00 pm til late

BEERFLOW from 10pm to 12midnight

Regular Ticket price
Dec. 1 to 28 - Php 1,300.00
Dec. 29 - Php 1,500.00

VIP TABLE - (8 pax) w/ 1 free bottle of liquor
Nov. 1 - Dec. 28 - Php 15,000
Dec. 29 - Php18,000

for inquiries pls call 7181311-13 or 0915- 7702333

grab ur tickets at all TICKET WORLD OUTLETS:

NATIONAL BOOKSTORE:
Shangri - LA, SM Mega MALL, SM STA MESA, Harrison Plaza, Araneta Center, SM NORTH
EDSA, SM LAS PINAS

ROBINSONS DEPT STORE:
Malate, Galleria, Festival MALL, Pampanga & Cavite

TOWER RECORDS:
Glorieta Mkti, Alabang Town Center

AYALA CENTER:
Glorietta 1 Cinema Ticket booth& Greenbelt 1 Cinema Ticket Booth

Brought to you by:
THE BIG PICTURE PRODUCTIONS
XCLUSIVE (PR)
FUNBOY INT'L

Look at Your Right

2006-12-20T16:01:00.000+08:00

Ear Candies for my fellas! njoy!!!

Keep on adding to that sweet sensation.
Spread the Good Vibes!!!

** if you got some songs in mind that you want me to add on the playlist, feel free to give me a holler ayt!?**

Woaaah!

2006-12-20T15:22:00.000+08:00

one more exam. one more night and i am semi-officially on vacation. after tonight, its... judgement day (hahaha!) i'll be getting my course cards this friday. its not that i am scared or nervous about it, its just that i don't think i did my best this term. i really feel bad about it cause i don't think i'll be making it to the dean's list because of one subject which i admit, i am not good at. haaay.

its been really tough during the past weekends. i didn't know how i managed to breeze through all those exams especially with my PRINCIPLES OF ACCOUNTING class. i must admit, i did copy from some seatmates but what can I do. i am an idiot when it comes to numbers!

looking on the brighter side of things... after this week... exactly after saturday, I AM FREE!!! yeeeaahhbaaaa!!! i am ecstatic about it (refer to previous blog entries)

but honestly, i don't feel the christmas spirit at all. i don't know why but it seems that it does not feel right, there is something missing. yes, i am excited about the vacation but not because of christmas. maybe because i've grown numb about it.

you see.. for the past years, we haven't been celebrating christmas due to some domestic problems that my family is going through. its not financial so i guess it too much for everyone of us to pretend that its a happy christmas when it is not.

i don't have any plans yet this coming christmas eve and new years eve. but if it will be just like my past christmases and new years, i know where ill be going... the same place where i celebrated these events during the past 2 years.

With A New Motto

2006-12-12T12:58:00.000+08:00

sheeessh! thank God! it's Decemebr!
thought I know for a fact that it'll be crazy with all the school stuff i have to comply with because of the upcoming finals in school, i know that after all of it all, its time for me to lax a bit, get wild and party harder than ever....

i cant wait for the 29th.
i can almost see it. i can almost taste it. i can almost feel it. waaaaaaaaaaaAAAA!
i am going crazy here just thinking about what will happen at Bennasi!
It's the ultimate year ender party. If tiesto started 2006 with a kabaam! i bet bennasi will close with a big kabooom!

haaaay. can you feel how excited i am with all of this? i bet you do. (hehehe!)

i just can't help it. maybe because for the past months, i haven't parteeed like the way i used to. although i've been going out with some new friends (which i must say are ULTIMATE good vibe people!!!), it's very different... i want to party the way i parteee before... you know? party without anything to worry about like projects, reports, papers and parents wanting you to go home before the sun rises.

i want to parteee freely, where i could crash at a friends place with all of my friends. we'll just lounge around and just talk about stuff. aint that cool!?!?

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! i sooo cannot wait for it...

but i guess for the meantime, since i am not yet finish with all my final exams, it's time to study hard..

oh... and by the way, before my motto was
Study hard, Parteee Harder... but i changed it abit..

its now.....

Work Hard..
Play Harder...
Parteee Hardest!!!

This is it!!!

2006-12-10T15:20:00.000+08:00

let the good vibes fill your soul and let's parteee like we've never parteed before!!!

Love it!

2006-11-28T00:47:00.000+08:00

So many things had happened over the weekend and am yet to blog it.
Am just so.... busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy right now with all the paper works for school.
But still, although.......... I just wanna say that... I'm loving it!!!

The Memory Pill

2006-11-28T00:28:00.000+08:00

I remember having an entry about some pill that could help ease heartaches and just now, I was browsing through yahoo.com and I came through this link.
Check it out. It's really interesting....

If you experienced a painful or traumatic event, would you want a pill which could lessen the bad memories of what happened? That option might soon be here because of a drug called propranolol.

http://60minutes.yahoo.com/segment/21/memory_drug

The Covenant (Review)

2006-11-22T12:35:00.000+08:00

I told you I'm going to watch this. (Hahaha)

As expected, I was glued, totally absorbed by the film. See, I've always been interested in powers, witchcraft and all those super naturals. Watching the movie brought back that interest which I lost right after I entered college. The movie was awesome, not to mention, being eyecandy!

The plot was pretty well made although there was a big question at the end of the movie. I hope that that would mean a sequel. The effects were also superb. I loved that scene when Caleb (on his convertible) collided with a 10 wheeler. It was awesome how the special effects showed the car fly in pieces for 3 seconds and as everything start falling down, it slowly go back into a once piece-no scratch-just like new- Ferrari! Woooaaah! I wish I have some powers like that.

There was this one point in the movie though that was a bit tiring... it was that fight between Caleb and Chase. It was too long and with their pretty looks and well built physique plus their "powers", their fight went from ok to boring. I was expecting more kazzaams and abrakadabras. That was kindda disappointing.

But still.... I recommend the movie. I wish there's a sequel. More magics please! :p

Horoscope

2006-11-22T12:13:00.000+08:00

I've never been fascinated by horoscopes, I never believed it, not until I chanced upon reading one that came with Friendster. It was amazingly true or should I say, whatever it was that was written on "my daily horoscope"... I could totally relate to it. So ever since then, I've been reading my horoscope on Friendster everyday.

I think that there's nothing wrong with believing or using it as a guide. I mean, we are our own masters and it's still up to us if we let this astrological readings ran our life.

I guess, it's just awesome... for me that is, to read something that would, in a way, give you a ding! on your head. And... it adds a bit of more excitement to your "decision making".

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Today's Horoscope

The Bottom Line

You are ready for bold action today! It's time to step up and get what you want.

In Detail

You are ready for serious bold action today! It's time to step up and make the grand gestures you know you can make. If you've been beating around the bush with someone you have growing feelings for, today is the day to confess your true feelings. It's now or never. If you have been contemplating a travel adventure, today is the day to book the tickets and commit to going. Time is slipping away; you need to act now to get what you want.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I Asked Myself... "How Are You?"

2006-11-18T15:28:00.000+08:00

if i say that i am ok, i know i am fooling myself. so i'll answer that question with a smile.
sometimes, its better if you just smile at some questions that are thrown to you especially if its requires you to explain your answer.

so i smile, smile... and then smile again. until nobody notices that beneath those smiles I hide what i truly feels.

but how am i really doing now?

well, at times i am really ok, i must admit that. all the stuff going on in school, all the things i have to do for school and all the things i do to keep myself from idleness makes me feel, in some way, better.

honestly, i am slowly getting used to this kind of life. its very different from the life that I once lived. its a lot simpler and healthier. although there are times when i miss that kind of lifestyle, i know that it worth it. i know i've gone far with the good changes that i did to myself and going back to the old ways may put it all in jeopardy.

yes i can still go back. i have the option. but i really don't think i will be going back. well maybe, i will be.. at times, will be seen again on the scene but that will be very minimal. i've seen a different life behind that old life that i had and i must say that its way better.

i am not saying that the old life that i once lived was that bad. i guess i am feeling this way towards it because it caused me so much pain and made me loose so much of myself.

maybe, i have managed to out grow that life and have decided to sail away. in analogy, its like before, i was sailing back and forth along a single river but now i am sailing through the wide open ocean.

i don't exactly know what and where this will lead me but i am optimistic that life would get better with me. yes, pain will be inevitable but will the wisdom that experience has thought me during the last 21 years, i know ill make it through.

i am ok.. but not very ok.. but i am ok.......

Check This Out!

2006-11-18T13:12:00.000+08:00

hey guys! i made another blog site...

http://textaddicted.blogspot.com/

collections of text messages
add it to your blogrolls :)

Next Flick

2006-11-18T11:56:00.000+08:00

I am enjoying all these movies lately... next..

THE COVENANT

Casino Royale

2006-11-18T10:26:00.000+08:00

i don't know what came upon me last night that i suddenly felt the urge of wanting to watch a movie. good thing, my classmates were up to catching a flick like me so right after class, we went straight to greenbelt 3.

all of us hitched a ride on Mickey's classic Mercedez Benz, i think its a 1983 model... we were doing our own acrobatics just to fit inside his "baby". it was some ride. why? because, Mickey driving is somewhat the same as riding a passenger jeepney who aint scared of colliding with anything or anyone (haha!). he's going ala fast and the furious on a classic car. ugh!

so we got there exactly 20 minutes before the showing. it was disappointing though cause we were not seated together. we ended up scattered in the middle row of the movie house in pairs.

Although i've seen some 007 flick before, I've never really been a fan of James Bond so i don't think i am the best critic on this.

the movie was good, to my standards that is. the plot was awesome and i do like the setting.... beach! beach! beach! and a lot of water!!!

just like with the other James Bond movies of course, the cars, the watches, the girls and the clothes were... how do i describe it.. hmm.. eye-popping!!! all of these stuff makes me want to be a 007 agent. (...dream on!) add to that, all those money they bet on a poker game is unbelievable. i mean, hey! you're living the life if you bet 140 million dollars on poker. think of all the shoes and cars i can buy and all the beaches i can go to with all that money. i can even buy my own private beach with that. waaaaaaaa!!!

living the Bond life

(snap back to reality)

the movie was quite long though... more than 2hours. my eyes felt soar after we watching the flick. but its worth it. i like the movie. am giiving it 4.5 out of 5.

watch the trailer

just some comments on the characters:

Daniel Craig
not as damn goodlooking as the other James Bonds but the way he acts out the James Bond persona is awesome... very masculine and like what Jen said, he's oozing with sex appeal.

Eva Green
she looks better without the red lipstick. she's damn gorgeous without any makeup on. waaa!

Sebastian Foucan
if its really him who was doing all those jumping in the movie... he's amazing.

Not the usual Saturday Night

2006-11-11T23:33:00.000+08:00

Thera (my sweet glam angel) just SMS-ed me, asking me if I'll be going out. I said "am not sure" because I am really not.

Tonight is not the first Saturday night that I am not sure if I am going out or not. Actually, it's been awhile since I last went out to party and well... parteee. As posted on my recent blog... I am SOBER from everything and yes! I am enjoying every moment of it.

But tonight is not the same as the other Saturday nights. I do not know why but it's very different. There is something in me that tells me to " hey go out! have fun!" but also another half tells me to "it's not yet time for you to party! enjoying sober-rity!"

Am going berserk now. Ugh! I honestly hate it when this happens. The feeling of an itchy feet wanting to take the dance floor and an ear longing for that bass and peaking sound. Ugh!

***pause***

I just got back from a nearby store. Bought a grande Red Horse Beer to booze up my longing system.

It's 11:43pm now on my PC clock. Still early. Party starts at 12 midnight and I still have time. Will I go out or not? That is the question I guess. Better check my wallet to see if I have enough moolah if ever I do satisfy the urge I am feeling right now.

Gawd! I sooo miss all the scene. It's been awhile since I really went out and party like there's no tomorrow!!!

But something on the back of my head tells me something... "Do not go out! It's not yet time?"

But when is the right time... I asked myself.

Shocks. I've never been to this kind of dilemma ever. A dilemma if I'll go party or not.

This is so not me. Not with Marco... Marco the PartyBoi. Sheeesh!!!

Christmas Wish List

2006-11-11T20:12:00.000+08:00

Here are my wish list for Christmas.

a new laptop
a new phone... Motorola MOTOKRZR K1
a full body treatment at a spa
a new pair of Nike Free 5.0 v.2
Addidas Tokyo Trap Jacket
Oakley Dart Sunglasses
Peace of Mind
be on the Dean's List

You Lost It.... Bigtime!!!

2006-11-11T02:01:00.000+08:00

i checked one of my online accounts awhile ago and noticed something that gave a devilish grin on my face... it also made me ask this...

are you guilty that's why you made those changes?

was i right all along?

it's really funny how at one time you were the one sobbing and then the next thing you knew you're laughing it all out... (hahahaha!!!)

seriosuly, its sooo funny.. sarcastically funny..

now let me just say this..

KARMA has its ways

HeartAche-naic Acid

2006-11-10T18:30:00.000+08:00

Falling in love is indeed the best kind of sentiment one would feel and there's no doubt about that. All of us must have felt it even for once in our life.

But falling in love is not all that, it's not all joy and fun. Sometimes falling in love may cause pain, pain that is so unbearable. Sometimes the pain is too much and you feel like dying because of it. This is a sad reality of falling in love and in most cases this happens when the fall was not caught or simply, the love showed was not reciprocated.

I've experienced this not once, not twice, but a lot of times, and every time this happens, I feel like wanting to explode and disappear into thin air because of the unbearable pain it caused. It pinches you deep down inside and makes you feel the need for something that will make the pain go away. Sadly, there is no instant cure for the pain that unrequited love in flicks.

....But what if there is?

What if there is a drug that people can buy at a local drugstore to relieve themselves of so much heartache. A small red pill, in a shape of a heart, that treats heartaches same as how Advil relieves headache. A pill that makes you forget all the pain caused by an ill fated love.

Wouldn't it be simply awesome if there's one?

If in the future, some company starts producing such pill, I am sure, I'll be one of the first people in line to get...not one...not two........but a DOZEN BOXES!!!

No Ordinary Morning

2006-11-10T10:51:00.000+08:00

No Ordinary Morning
Chicane

If there was nothing that I could say
Turned your back and you just walked away
Leaves me numb inside I think of you
Together is all I knew

We moved too fast but I had no sign
I would try to turn the hands of time
Then look to you for the reason why
The love we had passed me by

And as the sun would set you would rise
Fall from the sky into paradise
Is there no light in your heart for me?
You've closed your eyes, you no longer see

There were no lies between me and you
You said nothing of what you knew
But there was still something in your eyes
Left me helpless and paralyzed

You could give a million reasons,
change the world and change the times,
Could not give me the secrets of your heart
and of your mind
In the darkness that surrounds me now
there is no peace of mind
Your careless words undo me,
leave the thought of us behind
You could give a million reasons,
change the world and change the times
Could not give me the secrets of your heart
and of your mind
In the darkness that surrounds me now
there is no peace of mind
Your careless words undo me,
leave the thought of us behind

A Resolution

2006-11-08T11:13:00.000+08:00

I've been smoking since I was in 3rd Year High and I must admit, for a lot of times, I told myself that I will stop from smoking. Obviously, I am still hooked into the habit but I really want to stop.

Just a few days ago, I got sick. I had fever and was coughing badly. I felt like I was about to vomit my lungs out with every cough. It was awful. Also, add to that, I was feeling something pinching inside my chest. I do not know what this symptoms are but before things gets any worst, I have to do changes on my habits.

Although I am feeling a whole lot better right now, I am still determined to so this this resolution... To stop myself from smoking.

Wish me luck. I know it will be tough. But I was able to do it before, I can still do it again.

----

Five Keys for Quitting

Studies have shown that these five steps will help you quit and quit for good. You have the best chances of quitting if you use them together:

Get ready.

Get support.

Learn new skills and behaviors.

Get medication and use it correctly.

Be prepared for relapse or difficult situations.

1. Get Ready

Set a quit date.

Change your environment.

Get rid of ALL cigarettes and ashtrays in your home, car, and place of work.

Don't let people smoke in your home.

Review your past attempts to quit. Think about what worked and what did not.

Once you quit, don't smoke—NOT EVEN A PUFF!

2. Get Support and Encouragement

Studies have shown that you have a better chance of being successful if you have help. You can get support in many ways:

Tell your family, friends, and coworkers that you are going to quit and want their support. Ask them not to smoke around you or leave cigarettes out.

Talk to your health care provider (for example, doctor, dentist, nurse, pharmacist, psychologist, or smoking counselor).

Get individual, group, or telephone counseling. The more counseling you have, the better your chances are of quitting. Programs are given at local hospitals and health centers. Call your local health department for information about programs in your area.

3. Learn New Skills and Behaviors

Try to distract yourself from urges to smoke. Talk to someone, go for a walk, or get busy with a task.

When you first try to quit, change your routine. Use a different route to work. Drink tea instead of coffee. Eat breakfast in a different place.

Do something to reduce your stress. Take a hot bath, exercise, or read a book.

Plan something enjoyable to do every day.

Drink a lot of water and other fluids.

4. Get Medication and Use It Correctly

Medications can help you stop smoking and lessen the urge to smoke.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved five medications to help you quit smoking:

Bupropion SR—Available by prescription.

Nicotine gum—Available over-the-counter.

Nicotine inhaler—Available by prescription.

Nicotine nasal spray—Available by prescription.

Nicotine patch—Available by prescription and over-the-counter.

Ask your health care provider for advice and carefully read the information on the package.

All of these medications will more or less double your chances of quitting and quitting for good.

Everyone who is trying to quit may benefit from using a medication. If you are pregnant or trying to become pregnant, nursing, under age 18, smoking fewer than 10 cigarettes per day, or have a medical condition, talk to your doctor or other health care provider before taking medications.

5. Be Prepared for Relapse or Difficult Situations

Most relapses occur within the first 3 months after quitting. Don't be discouraged if you start smoking again. Remember, most people try several times before they finally quit. Here are some difficult situations to watch for:

Alcohol. Avoid drinking alcohol. Drinking lowers your chances of success.

Other smokers. Being around smoking can make you want to smoke.

Weight gain. Many smokers will gain weight when they quit, usually less than 10 pounds. Eat a healthy diet and stay active. Don't let weight gain distract you from your main goal—quitting smoking. Some quit-smoking medications may help delay weight gain.

Bad mood or depression. There are a lot of ways to improve your mood other than smoking.

source: http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/tobacco/consquits.htm

Hate (a poem)

2006-11-05T16:15:00.000+08:00

HATE

ever since i was i child
i have hated you
and with each day that pass by
i am hating you more

you've always caused pain
not only to me but to all of us
to us who are part of your own flesh and blood

blood they say is thicker than water
but why are you doing this
instead of giving us comfort and love
you give us hardships and aches

i curse you i hate you
screw you damn you
you are the source of our grievances
how i so wait for death to come upon you

Changes

2006-11-05T13:31:00.000+08:00

When you’ve gone so used to a certain kind of lifestyle and all of a sudden you had to make a downright turning of tables, you will be shock at the many things that you get to know as you try to make those turns for a new life.

CHANGE is truly inevitable. All of us undergo a certain kind of change. Some, we don’t even give attention to. Often times though, there are these types of changes which do require so much attention, even up to the point wherein we make drastic measures just to cope with it. These changes often cause collapse of the YOU that you know (at my point of view that is). Am I talking nonsense? Forgive me if I am. It’s just that, I am going through this stuff and turning neurotic because of this. Tough is an understatement to describe it and am going berserk with the so many things that had been troubling me.

Well, I really thank everybody who’s anchoring me to sanity. If not for them, I don't think I would still be here... blogging.

It’s true..

"Life is beautiful but nobody actually said it would be EASY!"

SOBER.. and LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT

2006-11-04T10:46:00.000+08:00

need I say more?

Died

2006-11-01T21:46:00.000+08:00

In an article I read this morning. There was this question that caught my attention...
it asked...

"Are you ready to die?"

so i asked myself.

"am i ready to die?"

i smiled cause i realiz that.. I'VE DIED A COUPLE OF TIMES...

I Recommend

2006-10-31T11:41:00.000+08:00

I've been reading alot lately and let me just recommend some books that are really good.

Veronika Decides To Die (Paulo Coehlo)

Ecstasy : Three Tales of Chemical Romance (Irvine Welsh)

PREDATOR (Patricia Cornwell)

... check this books out at at FULLY BOOKED (there's one in Promenade Greenhills)

Thank You

2006-10-31T11:13:00.000+08:00

Thank you guys for helping me anchored to sanity.
Life's been really tough, it always been
and if not without you, I guess I'm rotting.

I was living my life with a wrong purpose
but now I see it all, I know now what I have to do,
I know now what I have to change.

- - -

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

mom - besz - ves - thera - nico - bea- red - chubipao - mickey - jen - drew - maek -
- bam - maan - gil - froi - yvann - krisna - cy - gary - tris -
-and to everybody else-

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

- - -

A new journey starts today.

Realize This

2006-10-31T11:07:00.000+08:00

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end.

If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters-whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends your children, sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves , getting on with live and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill. None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us.

What has passed will not return; we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards out parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Thins pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages sell or donate books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts-and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return; do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, and your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing sis more dangerous than not accepting lover relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment”. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, and shake off the dust. Stop being who you were and change into who you are.

A Cycle of Love

2006-10-31T11:02:00.000+08:00

Isn't it amazing how love can either build us or ruin us? How a person can say how much they love us and won't ever leave us but then leave you and hurt you so badly till you can no longer bear the pain and want to stop breathing and kill yourself?! Sometimes... don't you think that it's so stupid and patethic to love? For love has this bitter sweet and sick cycle. A cycle that I used to not believe in. A cycle that is so unfar and is somewhat normal in our society. This is the cycle that causes the pain that we feel in every relationship that we get into. A stupid, sick, selfish, patethic and unfair cycle that we are all going through.

This is how this cycle works and I will tell it to you in a story.

Ethan has a relationship with Jessie. Jessie loves Ethan so much but Ethan fell out of love and broke up with Jessie. Jessie was hurt badly by this and was at the brink of insanity. Years had passed and Jessie tried to love again eventhough he knows that deep inside his heart, he is still madly inlove with Ethan. Jessie made himself believe that he has moved on. And so, he opened his heart to a new "love", Mikel. Like how Jessie love Ethan, Mikel loves Jessie so much or maybe even more than how Jessie loves Ethan. Mikel loves Jessie so much that he had sacrificed so much, even chose Jessie over his own family. Mikel was aware of the fact that Jessie is still inlove with Ethan, but because of the love that he feels for Jessie, he accepted this fact and stayed with him, giving him and showing him the love that he feels for Jessie.

A couple of months passed, things became more and more complicated for the two, and so they broke up. Mikel was so devastated by this. He loves Jessie so much that he had forgotten about himself and was left with nothing after that aweful day. Mikel loves Jessie so much but after that day, he felt his very being loose every inch of hope and zest to live. Mikel tried every single way to win Jessie back only to find out that Jessie has started falling inlove with somebody else... falling inlove with somebody else even before they broke up. This fact pinned and drilled another hole into Mikel's heart.

Life had to go on for Mikel and he tried every possible way to forget. Mikel detached himself from everything that has to do with Jessie. Like Jessie, he made himself believe that he is over only love.

Mikel went on a long trip to help himself forget and for him to have time to think about what is happening to his life. When Mikel thought that he was doing "ok" already, he went back. But the sad reality of love has started haunting Mikel.

After opening his heart to a new love, he realized all of a sudden, and felt that he is still inlove with Jessie. He still cares for him and still wants him back, and Mikel's new love knew about this... Mikel unconciously made his new love feel this. Like what Jessie had done to Mikel (something that Mikel vowed to not ever do) he was using someone for a rebound. Mikel was using somebody to help him move on, to make himself believe that he has moved on... but all along, Mikel has not.

Mikel was fooling himself on believing that he has healed and that he doesn't love Jessie anymore. With his, Mikel felt so much guilt on the situation that he is in. The situation of being in a relationship with someone who you don't really love.

Trying and wanting to end the cycle of pain, Mikel decided to put a stop to the relationship that he was in. He did not want to hurt anybody (eventhough he has started to) just to be able to move on. Mikel didn't want to do the same thing that Jessie did to him.

After breaking up with his love. Mikel decided not get into another relationship again, until the time when he is really over Jessie. Jessie, the person who he loves so much until now but the one person who had hurt him so badly.

Mikel wanted to end the cycle through sacrificing a possible love that could have been very fruitfull, that could have worked.

Mikel decided to just be alone and not to love again because he knows that he can only love one person... Jessie.

Love has its cycle and this story is a proof of that cycle. Oftenly we try to use other people to help ourselves move on which obviously a wrong thing to do. I just hope that people learn from every wrong turn that they take. If so, everything will be better.

A Lesson

2006-10-30T14:24:00.000+08:00

what doesn not KILL you makes you STRONGER

Seven Things You Should Realize After Crying On A Breakup

2006-10-27T19:41:00.000+08:00

1.Every RACE has a finish line

2.Breaking up is either LETTING GO OF A GOOD ONE or KICKING OUT A MORON

3. You loose a person because a more important one must enter

4. LOVE has it's own reason, DESTINY has it's own way, KARMA has its own judgement

5. The one who cries the worst is the one who loves the most

6. Time won't heal the heartache but a new love will surely do

7. It's the end of the relationship BUT NOT YOUR LIFE!

I Love You

2006-10-24T22:36:00.000+08:00

For a year and four months, I kept myself from believing that I will once again feel my heart beat for one special person. Not because I don’t want to believe but because I was traumatized by the bitter fate of the past relationship that I had.

Unconsciously and as a result of my defense mechanism on any possible form of intimacy, love and commitment, I grew lonely, gloomy and lived a life of agony. The boy that was once filled with joy, laughter and excitement became miserable, hateful and bitter. I became someone no one expected me to become. I became a monster. I grew selfish. I became so nasty and nobody was able to control me. I messed up my life more because I’ve lost hope for a better one. I even tried to end it because I’ve gone tired of it. I didn’t care for nothing else but myself and worst, I tried to buy happiness in tabs, vials and grams. I went down to my lowest point all because of philophobia. I was awful.

But all of those is part of yesterday and yesterday is gone. I’ve started to pick myself up and started redeeming myself. I looked back and I realized that I was lucky enough to be given another chance on starting a brand new life. It was like being born again.

Now my life is back on its tracks. Everything seems to be fine until that day when I felt my heart beat a different rhythm. It was ecstatic and twice as much. It was joyous until I realized that the last time I felt this way was when I met that person who made me crash, burn and be the worst I can be. It scared me.

Yes! The last time I felt this way was when I fell so deeply in love.

I assessed my emotions and carefully rationalized the past. And then I looked at myself on the mirror and asked myself, “Am I ready to love again and take the risk?” I saw a smile form on my face and my eyes glimmer like gems. My heart started beating fast and at last, I was able to answer that question a big YES!

I am ready to face another commitment and take the risk of falling in love again. This time, everything will be taken into moderation. What I’ve learned in the past will be applied carefully for everything to be secure and for everything to work effectively.

There is no doubt that I am in love. And I am taking each step carefully to lessen any possible pain that may come… if not avoid it. I may not know if the person that I love feels that same way but I know that my entire system is functioning on its normal state. I am ready to prove how worthy I am to be loved and cared. And I am ready to give the same amount of love that I am giving myself to that very special person.

What lies ahead is unpredictable. What I am feeling right now may not be reciprocated. But I want to grab this opportunity to thank that very special person who made my heart beat twice as much and express what I truly feel.

You may not see it but you have helped me and brought me so much. You opened my eyes and helped me see things that were kept from me by the bitter fate that I had in the past. You brought back the smile on my face and most importantly you made me feel and believe in love again.

I won’t ask you to love me if it’s not what you heart feels towards me. But please believe me when I say that what I feel towards you is sincere and true.

I swear right now to you, that if we’re given the chance to be together, I will take good care of you and I will love you more than how other people loved you before. My body and soul will only be yours and I will take you to a world where our love constantly grows deeper and deeper. I will carry all the pain and grudges just to make sure that you won’t get hurt and I’ll make sure that here on my arms you’ll be safe.

I'll forever be gratifide with the beauty that you're giving me right now and I hope and pray that we'll be given the chance to share life together.

I am seriously inlove with you and I'll forever will.

Tough Shit

2006-10-24T22:23:00.000+08:00

IVE LEARNED THAT YOU CANNOT MAKE
SOMEONE LOVE YOU. ALL YOU CAN DO IS
STALK THEM AND HOPE THEY PANIC AND GIVE IN.

IVE LEARNED THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH I CARE,
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST ASSH*LES.

IVE LEARNED THAT IT TAKES YEARS
TO BUILD UP TRUST, AND IT ONLY TAKES
SUSPICION, NOT PROOF, TO DESTROY IT.

IVE LEARNED THAT YOU CAN GET BY
ON CHARM FOR ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES.
AFTER THAT, YOUD BETTER HAVE A BIG WILLY
OR HUGE BOOBS.

IVE LEARNED THAT YOU SHOULDNT
COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS - THEY ARE
MORE SCREWED UP THAN YOU THINK.

IVE LEARNED THAT YOU CAN KEEP VOMITING
LONG AFTER YOU THINK YOU'RE FINISHED.

IVE LEARNED THAT WE ARE RESPONSIBLE
FOR WHAT WE DO, UNLESS WE ARE CELEBRITIES.

IVE LEARNED THAT REGARDLESS OF
HOW HOT AND STEAMY A RELATIONSHIP IS AT
FIRST, THE PASSION FADES, AND THERE HAD BETTER
BE A LOT OF MONEY TO TAKE ITS PLACE!

IVE LEARNED THAT 99% OF THE TIME WHEN
SOMETHING ISN'T WORKING IN YOUR HOUSE, ONE
OF YOUR KIDS DID IT.

IVE LEARNED THAT THE PEOPLE YOU CARE MOST
ABOUT IN LIFE ARE TAKEN FROM YOU TOO SOON
AND ALL THE LESS IMPORTANT ONES JUST NEVER GO AWAY...

LIFE...TOUGH SH*IT!

not actually "new"

2006-10-24T22:04:00.000+08:00

am not really net in this world. only last september, i closed down my old blogsite just because i thought there's no reason anymore for me to "blog"

but now, here i am once again... making a "come back" (if i may say) to the blogging world
(hurray! hurray! hurray!)

ill try to make my posts as sensible as possible (not like the last one wherein write about the dumbest things) and i hope that this time, BLOGGING would be more beneficial to me.

ugh! still can't believe am back!
anyway, enjoy!!!

....and oh! by the way, please don't forget to comment or drop a line on my tagboard

-MaRcOboi-