Veronika Decides To Die (Paulo Coehlo)
Ecstasy : Three Tales of Chemical Romance (Irvine Welsh)
PREDATOR (Patricia Cornwell)
... check this books out at at FULLY BOOKED (there's one in Promenade Greenhills)
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
I Recommend
I've been reading alot lately and let me just recommend some books that are really good.
PREDATOR (Patricia Cornwell)
... check this books out at at FULLY BOOKED (there's one in Promenade Greenhills)
PREDATOR (Patricia Cornwell)
... check this books out at at FULLY BOOKED (there's one in Promenade Greenhills)
Thank You
Thank you guys for helping me anchored to sanity.
Life's been really tough, it always been
and if not without you, I guess I'm rotting.
I was living my life with a wrong purpose
but now I see it all, I know now what I have to do,
I know now what I have to change.
- - -
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
mom - besz - ves - thera - nico - bea- red - chubipao - mickey - jen - drew - maek -
- bam - maan - gil - froi - yvann - krisna - cy - gary - tris -
-and to everybody else-
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
- - -
A new journey starts today.
Life's been really tough, it always been
and if not without you, I guess I'm rotting.
I was living my life with a wrong purpose
but now I see it all, I know now what I have to do,
I know now what I have to change.
- - -
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
mom - besz - ves - thera - nico - bea- red - chubipao - mickey - jen - drew - maek -
- bam - maan - gil - froi - yvann - krisna - cy - gary - tris -
-and to everybody else-
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
- - -
A new journey starts today.
Realize This
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end.
If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters-whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends your children, sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves , getting on with live and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill. None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us.
What has passed will not return; we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards out parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Thins pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages sell or donate books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts-and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return; do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, and your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing sis more dangerous than not accepting lover relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment”. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, and shake off the dust. Stop being who you were and change into who you are.
If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters-whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends your children, sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves , getting on with live and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill. None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us.
What has passed will not return; we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards out parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Thins pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages sell or donate books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts-and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return; do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, and your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing sis more dangerous than not accepting lover relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment”. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, and shake off the dust. Stop being who you were and change into who you are.
A Cycle of Love
Isn't it amazing how love can either build us or ruin us? How a person can say how much they love us and won't ever leave us but then leave you and hurt you so badly till you can no longer bear the pain and want to stop breathing and kill yourself?! Sometimes... don't you think that it's so stupid and patethic to love? For love has this bitter sweet and sick cycle. A cycle that I used to not believe in. A cycle that is so unfar and is somewhat normal in our society. This is the cycle that causes the pain that we feel in every relationship that we get into. A stupid, sick, selfish, patethic and unfair cycle that we are all going through.
This is how this cycle works and I will tell it to you in a story.
Ethan has a relationship with Jessie. Jessie loves Ethan so much but Ethan fell out of love and broke up with Jessie. Jessie was hurt badly by this and was at the brink of insanity. Years had passed and Jessie tried to love again eventhough he knows that deep inside his heart, he is still madly inlove with Ethan. Jessie made himself believe that he has moved on. And so, he opened his heart to a new "love", Mikel. Like how Jessie love Ethan, Mikel loves Jessie so much or maybe even more than how Jessie loves Ethan. Mikel loves Jessie so much that he had sacrificed so much, even chose Jessie over his own family. Mikel was aware of the fact that Jessie is still inlove with Ethan, but because of the love that he feels for Jessie, he accepted this fact and stayed with him, giving him and showing him the love that he feels for Jessie.
A couple of months passed, things became more and more complicated for the two, and so they broke up. Mikel was so devastated by this. He loves Jessie so much that he had forgotten about himself and was left with nothing after that aweful day. Mikel loves Jessie so much but after that day, he felt his very being loose every inch of hope and zest to live. Mikel tried every single way to win Jessie back only to find out that Jessie has started falling inlove with somebody else... falling inlove with somebody else even before they broke up. This fact pinned and drilled another hole into Mikel's heart.
Life had to go on for Mikel and he tried every possible way to forget. Mikel detached himself from everything that has to do with Jessie. Like Jessie, he made himself believe that he is over only love.
Mikel went on a long trip to help himself forget and for him to have time to think about what is happening to his life. When Mikel thought that he was doing "ok" already, he went back. But the sad reality of love has started haunting Mikel.
After opening his heart to a new love, he realized all of a sudden, and felt that he is still inlove with Jessie. He still cares for him and still wants him back, and Mikel's new love knew about this... Mikel unconciously made his new love feel this. Like what Jessie had done to Mikel (something that Mikel vowed to not ever do) he was using someone for a rebound. Mikel was using somebody to help him move on, to make himself believe that he has moved on... but all along, Mikel has not.
Mikel was fooling himself on believing that he has healed and that he doesn't love Jessie anymore. With his, Mikel felt so much guilt on the situation that he is in. The situation of being in a relationship with someone who you don't really love.
Trying and wanting to end the cycle of pain, Mikel decided to put a stop to the relationship that he was in. He did not want to hurt anybody (eventhough he has started to) just to be able to move on. Mikel didn't want to do the same thing that Jessie did to him.
After breaking up with his love. Mikel decided not get into another relationship again, until the time when he is really over Jessie. Jessie, the person who he loves so much until now but the one person who had hurt him so badly.
Mikel wanted to end the cycle through sacrificing a possible love that could have been very fruitfull, that could have worked.
Mikel decided to just be alone and not to love again because he knows that he can only love one person... Jessie.
Love has its cycle and this story is a proof of that cycle. Oftenly we try to use other people to help ourselves move on which obviously a wrong thing to do. I just hope that people learn from every wrong turn that they take. If so, everything will be better.
This is how this cycle works and I will tell it to you in a story.
Ethan has a relationship with Jessie. Jessie loves Ethan so much but Ethan fell out of love and broke up with Jessie. Jessie was hurt badly by this and was at the brink of insanity. Years had passed and Jessie tried to love again eventhough he knows that deep inside his heart, he is still madly inlove with Ethan. Jessie made himself believe that he has moved on. And so, he opened his heart to a new "love", Mikel. Like how Jessie love Ethan, Mikel loves Jessie so much or maybe even more than how Jessie loves Ethan. Mikel loves Jessie so much that he had sacrificed so much, even chose Jessie over his own family. Mikel was aware of the fact that Jessie is still inlove with Ethan, but because of the love that he feels for Jessie, he accepted this fact and stayed with him, giving him and showing him the love that he feels for Jessie.
A couple of months passed, things became more and more complicated for the two, and so they broke up. Mikel was so devastated by this. He loves Jessie so much that he had forgotten about himself and was left with nothing after that aweful day. Mikel loves Jessie so much but after that day, he felt his very being loose every inch of hope and zest to live. Mikel tried every single way to win Jessie back only to find out that Jessie has started falling inlove with somebody else... falling inlove with somebody else even before they broke up. This fact pinned and drilled another hole into Mikel's heart.
Life had to go on for Mikel and he tried every possible way to forget. Mikel detached himself from everything that has to do with Jessie. Like Jessie, he made himself believe that he is over only love.
Mikel went on a long trip to help himself forget and for him to have time to think about what is happening to his life. When Mikel thought that he was doing "ok" already, he went back. But the sad reality of love has started haunting Mikel.
After opening his heart to a new love, he realized all of a sudden, and felt that he is still inlove with Jessie. He still cares for him and still wants him back, and Mikel's new love knew about this... Mikel unconciously made his new love feel this. Like what Jessie had done to Mikel (something that Mikel vowed to not ever do) he was using someone for a rebound. Mikel was using somebody to help him move on, to make himself believe that he has moved on... but all along, Mikel has not.
Mikel was fooling himself on believing that he has healed and that he doesn't love Jessie anymore. With his, Mikel felt so much guilt on the situation that he is in. The situation of being in a relationship with someone who you don't really love.
Trying and wanting to end the cycle of pain, Mikel decided to put a stop to the relationship that he was in. He did not want to hurt anybody (eventhough he has started to) just to be able to move on. Mikel didn't want to do the same thing that Jessie did to him.
After breaking up with his love. Mikel decided not get into another relationship again, until the time when he is really over Jessie. Jessie, the person who he loves so much until now but the one person who had hurt him so badly.
Mikel wanted to end the cycle through sacrificing a possible love that could have been very fruitfull, that could have worked.
Mikel decided to just be alone and not to love again because he knows that he can only love one person... Jessie.
Love has its cycle and this story is a proof of that cycle. Oftenly we try to use other people to help ourselves move on which obviously a wrong thing to do. I just hope that people learn from every wrong turn that they take. If so, everything will be better.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
Seven Things You Should Realize After Crying On A Breakup
1.Every RACE has a finish line
2.Breaking up is either LETTING GO OF A GOOD ONE or KICKING OUT A MORON
3. You loose a person because a more important one must enter
4. LOVE has it's own reason, DESTINY has it's own way, KARMA has its own judgement
5. The one who cries the worst is the one who loves the most
6. Time won't heal the heartache but a new love will surely do
7. It's the end of the relationship BUT NOT YOUR LIFE!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
I Love You
For a year and four months, I kept myself from believing that I will once again feel my heart beat for one special person. Not because I don’t want to believe but because I was traumatized by the bitter fate of the past relationship that I had.
Unconsciously and as a result of my defense mechanism on any possible form of intimacy, love and commitment, I grew lonely, gloomy and lived a life of agony. The boy that was once filled with joy, laughter and excitement became miserable, hateful and bitter. I became someone no one expected me to become. I became a monster. I grew selfish. I became so nasty and nobody was able to control me. I messed up my life more because I’ve lost hope for a better one. I even tried to end it because I’ve gone tired of it. I didn’t care for nothing else but myself and worst, I tried to buy happiness in tabs, vials and grams. I went down to my lowest point all because of philophobia. I was awful.
But all of those is part of yesterday and yesterday is gone. I’ve started to pick myself up and started redeeming myself. I looked back and I realized that I was lucky enough to be given another chance on starting a brand new life. It was like being born again.
Now my life is back on its tracks. Everything seems to be fine until that day when I felt my heart beat a different rhythm. It was ecstatic and twice as much. It was joyous until I realized that the last time I felt this way was when I met that person who made me crash, burn and be the worst I can be. It scared me.
Yes! The last time I felt this way was when I fell so deeply in love.
I assessed my emotions and carefully rationalized the past. And then I looked at myself on the mirror and asked myself, “Am I ready to love again and take the risk?” I saw a smile form on my face and my eyes glimmer like gems. My heart started beating fast and at last, I was able to answer that question a big YES!
I am ready to face another commitment and take the risk of falling in love again. This time, everything will be taken into moderation. What I’ve learned in the past will be applied carefully for everything to be secure and for everything to work effectively.
There is no doubt that I am in love. And I am taking each step carefully to lessen any possible pain that may come… if not avoid it. I may not know if the person that I love feels that same way but I know that my entire system is functioning on its normal state. I am ready to prove how worthy I am to be loved and cared. And I am ready to give the same amount of love that I am giving myself to that very special person.
What lies ahead is unpredictable. What I am feeling right now may not be reciprocated. But I want to grab this opportunity to thank that very special person who made my heart beat twice as much and express what I truly feel.
You may not see it but you have helped me and brought me so much. You opened my eyes and helped me see things that were kept from me by the bitter fate that I had in the past. You brought back the smile on my face and most importantly you made me feel and believe in love again.
I won’t ask you to love me if it’s not what you heart feels towards me. But please believe me when I say that what I feel towards you is sincere and true.
I swear right now to you, that if we’re given the chance to be together, I will take good care of you and I will love you more than how other people loved you before. My body and soul will only be yours and I will take you to a world where our love constantly grows deeper and deeper. I will carry all the pain and grudges just to make sure that you won’t get hurt and I’ll make sure that here on my arms you’ll be safe.
I'll forever be gratifide with the beauty that you're giving me right now and I hope and pray that we'll be given the chance to share life together.
I am seriously inlove with you and I'll forever will.
Unconsciously and as a result of my defense mechanism on any possible form of intimacy, love and commitment, I grew lonely, gloomy and lived a life of agony. The boy that was once filled with joy, laughter and excitement became miserable, hateful and bitter. I became someone no one expected me to become. I became a monster. I grew selfish. I became so nasty and nobody was able to control me. I messed up my life more because I’ve lost hope for a better one. I even tried to end it because I’ve gone tired of it. I didn’t care for nothing else but myself and worst, I tried to buy happiness in tabs, vials and grams. I went down to my lowest point all because of philophobia. I was awful.
But all of those is part of yesterday and yesterday is gone. I’ve started to pick myself up and started redeeming myself. I looked back and I realized that I was lucky enough to be given another chance on starting a brand new life. It was like being born again.
Now my life is back on its tracks. Everything seems to be fine until that day when I felt my heart beat a different rhythm. It was ecstatic and twice as much. It was joyous until I realized that the last time I felt this way was when I met that person who made me crash, burn and be the worst I can be. It scared me.
Yes! The last time I felt this way was when I fell so deeply in love.
I assessed my emotions and carefully rationalized the past. And then I looked at myself on the mirror and asked myself, “Am I ready to love again and take the risk?” I saw a smile form on my face and my eyes glimmer like gems. My heart started beating fast and at last, I was able to answer that question a big YES!
I am ready to face another commitment and take the risk of falling in love again. This time, everything will be taken into moderation. What I’ve learned in the past will be applied carefully for everything to be secure and for everything to work effectively.
There is no doubt that I am in love. And I am taking each step carefully to lessen any possible pain that may come… if not avoid it. I may not know if the person that I love feels that same way but I know that my entire system is functioning on its normal state. I am ready to prove how worthy I am to be loved and cared. And I am ready to give the same amount of love that I am giving myself to that very special person.
What lies ahead is unpredictable. What I am feeling right now may not be reciprocated. But I want to grab this opportunity to thank that very special person who made my heart beat twice as much and express what I truly feel.
You may not see it but you have helped me and brought me so much. You opened my eyes and helped me see things that were kept from me by the bitter fate that I had in the past. You brought back the smile on my face and most importantly you made me feel and believe in love again.
I won’t ask you to love me if it’s not what you heart feels towards me. But please believe me when I say that what I feel towards you is sincere and true.
I swear right now to you, that if we’re given the chance to be together, I will take good care of you and I will love you more than how other people loved you before. My body and soul will only be yours and I will take you to a world where our love constantly grows deeper and deeper. I will carry all the pain and grudges just to make sure that you won’t get hurt and I’ll make sure that here on my arms you’ll be safe.
I'll forever be gratifide with the beauty that you're giving me right now and I hope and pray that we'll be given the chance to share life together.
I am seriously inlove with you and I'll forever will.
Tough Shit
IVE LEARNED THAT YOU CANNOT MAKE
SOMEONE LOVE YOU. ALL YOU CAN DO IS
STALK THEM AND HOPE THEY PANIC AND GIVE IN.
IVE LEARNED THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH I CARE,
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST ASSH*LES.
IVE LEARNED THAT IT TAKES YEARS
TO BUILD UP TRUST, AND IT ONLY TAKES
SUSPICION, NOT PROOF, TO DESTROY IT.
IVE LEARNED THAT YOU CAN GET BY
ON CHARM FOR ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES.
AFTER THAT, YOUD BETTER HAVE A BIG WILLY
OR HUGE BOOBS.
IVE LEARNED THAT YOU SHOULDNT
COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS - THEY ARE
MORE SCREWED UP THAN YOU THINK.
IVE LEARNED THAT YOU CAN KEEP VOMITING
LONG AFTER YOU THINK YOU'RE FINISHED.
IVE LEARNED THAT WE ARE RESPONSIBLE
FOR WHAT WE DO, UNLESS WE ARE CELEBRITIES.
IVE LEARNED THAT REGARDLESS OF
HOW HOT AND STEAMY A RELATIONSHIP IS AT
FIRST, THE PASSION FADES, AND THERE HAD BETTER
BE A LOT OF MONEY TO TAKE ITS PLACE!
IVE LEARNED THAT 99% OF THE TIME WHEN
SOMETHING ISN'T WORKING IN YOUR HOUSE, ONE
OF YOUR KIDS DID IT.
IVE LEARNED THAT THE PEOPLE YOU CARE MOST
ABOUT IN LIFE ARE TAKEN FROM YOU TOO SOON
AND ALL THE LESS IMPORTANT ONES JUST NEVER GO AWAY...
LIFE...TOUGH SH*IT!
SOMEONE LOVE YOU. ALL YOU CAN DO IS
STALK THEM AND HOPE THEY PANIC AND GIVE IN.
IVE LEARNED THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH I CARE,
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST ASSH*LES.
IVE LEARNED THAT IT TAKES YEARS
TO BUILD UP TRUST, AND IT ONLY TAKES
SUSPICION, NOT PROOF, TO DESTROY IT.
IVE LEARNED THAT YOU CAN GET BY
ON CHARM FOR ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES.
AFTER THAT, YOUD BETTER HAVE A BIG WILLY
OR HUGE BOOBS.
IVE LEARNED THAT YOU SHOULDNT
COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS - THEY ARE
MORE SCREWED UP THAN YOU THINK.
IVE LEARNED THAT YOU CAN KEEP VOMITING
LONG AFTER YOU THINK YOU'RE FINISHED.
IVE LEARNED THAT WE ARE RESPONSIBLE
FOR WHAT WE DO, UNLESS WE ARE CELEBRITIES.
IVE LEARNED THAT REGARDLESS OF
HOW HOT AND STEAMY A RELATIONSHIP IS AT
FIRST, THE PASSION FADES, AND THERE HAD BETTER
BE A LOT OF MONEY TO TAKE ITS PLACE!
IVE LEARNED THAT 99% OF THE TIME WHEN
SOMETHING ISN'T WORKING IN YOUR HOUSE, ONE
OF YOUR KIDS DID IT.
IVE LEARNED THAT THE PEOPLE YOU CARE MOST
ABOUT IN LIFE ARE TAKEN FROM YOU TOO SOON
AND ALL THE LESS IMPORTANT ONES JUST NEVER GO AWAY...
LIFE...TOUGH SH*IT!
not actually "new"
am not really net in this world. only last september, i closed down my old blogsite just because i thought there's no reason anymore for me to "blog"
but now, here i am once again... making a "come back" (if i may say) to the blogging world
(hurray! hurray! hurray!)
ill try to make my posts as sensible as possible (not like the last one wherein write about the dumbest things) and i hope that this time, BLOGGING would be more beneficial to me.
ugh! still can't believe am back!
anyway, enjoy!!!
....and oh! by the way, please don't forget to comment or drop a line on my tagboard
-MaRcOboi-
but now, here i am once again... making a "come back" (if i may say) to the blogging world
(hurray! hurray! hurray!)
ill try to make my posts as sensible as possible (not like the last one wherein write about the dumbest things) and i hope that this time, BLOGGING would be more beneficial to me.
ugh! still can't believe am back!
anyway, enjoy!!!
....and oh! by the way, please don't forget to comment or drop a line on my tagboard
-MaRcOboi-
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